My 2008-2009 NBA Coach of the Year

As we all know, Mike Brown, head coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers, was formally named the 2008-2009 NBA Coach of the Year by the league. Sure, the Cavs had the best record, but seriously, I could have won 60 games with LeBron this year. Brown did nothing but take a backseat to the King and hope that he was capable of breaking through quadruple-teams (someone always had to keep an eye on Big Z... he's dangerous!) and score a bucket or flip to an open Mo Williams. Brown then cemented his coaching legacy for the year by guarding Rashard Lewis with Big Ben Wallace at the end of Game 4. Of course, Lewis outran Big Ben and drained a three to put the Magic up two. I wish they could have revoked the award right then and there.

Plus, I hate the way Mike Brown looks. He does not have a well-rounded enough head to go bald like that. And he has that annoying muffin top on the side of his head created by his glasses. I hate that.

Instead, the NBA Coach of the Year should have gone to my new favorite sports figure, this guy:

Stan Van Gundy.

I love Stan Van Gundy. I love how he is way too intense about every call. I love the way he looks like Ron Jeremy. I love how sweaty he always gets. I love how raspy his voice becomes throughout the game. I love his pudgy frame. I love his love of the sweater/sport coat combo.

... and those are only a few of the biggest things I love about him.

I know that he really isn't much of a coach (I mean, how many times do I have to see that high screen and roll during these playoffs?), but in a joke of a league like the NBA, awards should partially be given to the biggest joke candidates. Hence, Elgin Baylor winning the NBA Executive of the Year with the Clips in '05-'06.

Admittedly, I was a little bit leery about Stan before this season. I did feel bad that Pat Riley had forced him out of Miami so that he could show off his Vaseline hair and crisp tan once again. But, pity is no reason to make me like someone. This, however, is:

Solid gold.

And that, Stan Van Gundy, is why I love you. I fully support your run for 2009-2010 NBA Coach of the Year even if Dwight Howard pulls an Andrew Bynum on you, resulting in a 12-70 finish. Keep up the good work.